This year is almost half over. But, for me, the rough stuff is just
beginning.
Starting in August, I will be going through medical
appointments and tests… again. I often
hope for a diagnosis for all the things I am going through but dread it as
well. I am positive it isn’t one,
central issue but several. I have put
certain things off until I can’t anymore.
I’m just so tired of going through this.
Medical issues aside, I am aiming at some of my fears
this year. I am going to be entering
another chapbook next month. I want to
present an idea for an online workshop in a conference setting with me as the
instructor (I’m not sure I’m qualified enough as a poet, but we’ll see). And, by year’s end, I will have some form of
audio on Youtube (me singing, reciting poems, etc).
I could sit forever, petting my fear and letting it curl
up tighter in my lap, digging in. I won’t. At least, I hope I won’t.
Maybe I’ve been so darn unhappy with my career/progress because
I let my reservations and fears KEEP me from seeing progress. The only way to know is to try.
So, here’s to it… trying… failing… the whole damn thing…
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