Rejection Routine

I have written here a couple of times about rejection but I never told you about my rejection routine. **This is joking only, well, somewhat.** The style of this post is from the Grab a Pen blog. Enjoy.

1. Check E-mail
2. Find reply
3. Make sure it isn't spam
4. It has to be spam
5. OK, it isn't spam
6. Feel heart beat faster
7. Make certain no one is looking
8. Look at it again, to be safe
9. Think about which story/poem this editor had
10. Believe for a second that it was a good submission
11. Move mouse towards subject
12. All the while rethinking if it was good or not
13. Look at it
14. Reread it to make sure
15. Sigh
16. Knew it wasn't that good
17. Silently wonder about editor's prejudices
18. No one understands you
19. Scowl at the monitor like it will change its mind
20. Feel magenta (a mix of a lot of feelings coined on the show "Golden Girls")
21. Tuck it silently away
22. Scowl some more
23. Blog about said rejection while sighing and scowling
24. Put rejection in response file
(Depending on how long response was anticipated either go to step 25 or 30 )
25. Feel upset for a few minutes
26. Wonder if writing is really the right choice
27. Leave the offending submission alone for a few days
28. Eat chocolate as "therapy" and let the house go a bit
29. Double check the editor's qualifications to make such judgments
**29 (a) Complain to anyone who won't let it get back to the editor or publisher**
30. Reread the submission
31. It's good, the editor was wrong
32. Resubmit and clean out those dust bunnies