Reasons I'm a Terrible Reviewer (and a Question)

I reviewed books as part of my "job" at The Handy, Uncapped Pen. Near the end of its seven-year run, I had multiple publicists and presses offering me every title by disabled and neurodivergent authors they worked with. I love reading... but I'm a lousy reviewer.

Reasons why I suck at reviewing books:

1. I cared too much about an author's feelings. Reviews are for readers, not authors, but I spent too much time concerned with discouraging or upsetting people. It definitely hindered the quality of my remarks, regardless of how much I still tried for honesty. The more popular the writer, the less I felt the need to hold back.

2. I don't have the skill. A proper review isn't like writing a blog post or an essay. An amazing reviewer will bring nuance to the subject. They will be able to compare a book to other titles and give examples of books that do something better.

3. Rigorous notes and annotations sapped my energy. It took me weeks to write a book review. I have limited spoons, and the urge to leave no facet unexplored in a text drained me. Most of the things I wrote down didn't even make it into the reviews! When I used to review Christmas movies on this blog, I would just watch them and give my thoughts... making it easier. Critiquing romance novels and poetry collections is also fun/less demanding for me.

Oddly, I never felt the need to appease a publisher or publicist who sought me out. Maybe it's because there are more published books in a year than I will ever read. I also wasn't afraid of retaliatory reviews at the time, but I'm concerned the possibility would affect my process now that I have a published poetry collection.

But I often think about reviewing poetry and other random bits (nothing too rigorous) on this blog. I kind of miss sitting with a text and telling people about it. But I don't want my failings to carry over if I try again.

Would you like to see me try reviews (again)? Do you miss the Christmas movie reviews in December? Let me know! 

Our Shortening Attention Spans

"Attention spans of humans are now less than that of a goldfish," someone boldly proclaims. 

"Nah," somebody scoffs, "that's simply a myth."

Whether or not the severity of the decrease is accurate, the claim of shortened attention spans in the age of TikTok, viral memes, and COVID-19 certainly seems to have some merit.

What can be done:

Try to keep from getting repeat COVID infections -

This one is highly unlikely as it would take us masking in public and installing air purifiers in public spaces. Employers and educators would have to let those who are sick stay home for ten days and vaccines would need to be free. 

It doesn't matter (to most people) if repeat infections increase the risk of organ and white matter damage... it's just the cost of "normalcy" for us. Even people who know not masking will cause people to die don't care.

Get reading -

Books aren't just great for learning new things and increasing empathy, reading can also help expand the ability to focus!

Limit social media and AI use -

Social media can not only make us feel bad about ourselves, it can also make us crave a revolving door of new sights. AI can erode critical thinking and the focus needed to engage with higher concepts.

Start a new "slow" hobby -

Jigsaw puzzles, drawing, Sudoku, and playing instruments can force our brains to maintain concentration in order to progress.

Be picky with what cartoons kids watch -

Shows that have longer plots and gentleness over bright colors and a new topic every minute can help kids... or at least not negatively impact their impulse control.

Stroll in nature or practice mindfulness -

Anything that can put someone more fully in the present moment or make them aware of their body can be beneficial.

Don't neglect sleep -

One night of bad sleep can impact focus and memory the next day. If we're constantly sleepy, our brains can't properly function. It's one reason why cramming for a test is a bad idea.

End note: A variety of neurodivergences, mental health issues, and disabilities can also hamper attention spans. I'm not speaking on those. This is just a short list with some of the research I've found for a "general" audience. I'm not a doctor or an expert.

Honey: Word Search Verse

Note: My newest YouTube video (on author envy) was published two days ago. You can watch it by clicking anywhere on this sentence.

"Honey" was only ever published in Domestic Bodies. It was one of the last additions to the book. If you want the answer key to the puzzle, please let me know.

Video: NEA Funds Revoked for Lit Mags

I finally have a new video up on my YouTube channel (click here)! Video editing and public speaking aren't my strong points, but at least this video has a few jump cuts.

More videos I'm considering include:

- Reviews of poetry collections/books with disabled characters 

- Writing the disabled erotic

- Head of the Copyright Office fired (my theory why)

- Poetry forms (YouTube Shorts)

I have other ideas, but I'd love to know if there's anything you'd like to see me cover or if you have thoughts on the concepts listed. 

Into the Fray and Remission Mission

Remission Mission 

She won the day: Informed the troops
of obliteration and surrender of the enemy,
the demon, that fought dirty and like hell
to possess her body, abscond with her life…
a second stealth attack in the shade
of first victory. The small crowd cheered.
Tears, guests of honor, came and went
like clouds. The warrior gave speeches
of a future in full sunlight, sans chemo.

I think this is the only time I wrote a direct sequel to a poem. It could be they were once a large ramble I detangled, but I don't recall. 

On another note: I had an oncology appointment on Tuesday. I'm still cancer-free. 

Failing Up During the PAD Challenge

I'm currently locked into another Poem-a-Day challenge for April. Writer's Digest puts out prompts for the months of April (when the goal is for 30 poems) and November (when the goal is to create a chapbook). I try to participate in each one. But, the past few years, I tend to tap out halfway.

For someone (mostly) bed bound, I generally get too busy or overwhelmed during the challenges. April is cancer-scan month (plus, often Easter), and the looming appointment always occupies my mind more than it should. November, once another cancer-scan-existential-dread rollercoaster, is still part of a four-month holiday crunch for Brandon and me.

I used to hate myself for "failing" to complete every day, though I still wound up with at least ten new poems to edit and submit to publications. I promised myself I would do better next time but spent the rest of the month cringing and berating myself for my inability to follow through. 

A writer friend recently told me about the term "failing upwards," and it's pretty applicable. Even if I didn't reach the finish line, I ran as far as I could and still got something to show for it. And it's not just a participation trophy.

As of today, I've written 23 poems. They aren't all great. Hell, maybe only a quarter of them will be anything serviceable. But five is better than what I had on March 31st! The time isn't wasted... it's invested. 

Do you ever "fail" in a good way?

Interpretations: His and Hers (Poem)

He promised forever.       She couldn’t stay

The thought was sad       he desired her, anyway.

Reaching for her hand    Trying to keep his word

his grip slipped and,       he thought he heard

her gasp of surprise        (a shocked intake of breath)

he interpreted as hope    that was really love's death.

I attempted to create a contrapuntal poem with some sort of rhyme scheme. This is interesting but also... lackluster. The subject matter doesn't sit right with the more sing-song nature, either.